Your luck took a long lunch and never came back.

Destiny called. Wrong number.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a vending machine—out of order.

Your plan A, B, and C just formed a support group.

You will rise and grind. The coffee will not.

Everything’s bigger in Texas—even your bad luck.

Your ship finally comes in. It’s a kayak.

The universe says “maybe later.” It won’t.