Your Daily Ohmisfortune

You’ll meet the love of your life. Unfortunately, it’s your reflection.

No kings. No crowns. Just crumbs.

Everything’s sold out—except your excuses.

Tomorrow looks great. Too bad you live today.

Your luck took a long lunch and never came back.

Destiny called. Wrong number.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a vending machine—out of order.

Your plan A, B, and C just formed a support group.

You will rise and grind. The coffee will not.

Everything’s bigger in Texas—even your bad luck.

Your ship finally comes in. It’s a kayak.

The universe says “maybe later.” It won’t.